What is grief?

Last week, I was deep in inner work at this time.  I also didn't have internet connection in my tent and wasn't even thinking about what to write.  I wanted to be present in the event and  what was coming up for me.   Now,  a week later, I'm integrating everything.  

In some respects, I found myself grieving different aspects of who I was that might not have been fully grieved before and also that hadn't been grieved at all.  This may sound weird.  But grief is part of our life, just as much as laughter and joy.  We grieve all kinds of things: what life used to be like, who we were, loss of relationship, death of a loved one, loss of job (our choice or not) and so much more.  We don't always realize the ways in which grief permeates our lives.  

When I left teaching this past summer, I grieved that loss.  It was fully my choice, I couldn't continue to go to a job that was slowly destroying my mental health, I just couldn't take the stress any more.  You'd think I'd have fully grieved it by now.  But the thing about grief is, it's not just about the loss of the thing (whatever or whoever it happens to be) but the loss of all of the things you don't experience as a result.  For example: for the first time in 10 years, I'm not chaperoning prom, attending graduation as a teacher, seeing my students every day, connecting with teachers and my team.  So many things.  Occasionally, a remembrance pops up and I grieve it all over again.  Grief is always with you.  It never leaves, you grow around it and make it more part of you.  

How have you integrated grief? What shows up for you?

As always, Your life is your practice.